We need to rekindle our bromance
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
