Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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