So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
ttyl tear gas
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
