Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
