I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
