I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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