i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
