that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
