Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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