Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
