I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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