I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
