I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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