so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
