So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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