But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
