I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
