me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
