I'm jealous of your bromance
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
