covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
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