: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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