you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
