Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
