I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
