we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
