I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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