Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
