found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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