There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
