Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
