i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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