i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
