i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
