I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
If I die, sorry about rent.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
