dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
