I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I have fence marks all over my body
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
