he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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