I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
