you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
