Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
