season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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