Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
