distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Can't talk, ducks in the car
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize