thus making me awesome and them whores
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
