i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
