ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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