evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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