She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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