he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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