bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
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